I decided to leave my husband, but John was against it. He was comfortable with his spouse’s mistress. He was happy with such a life. But I began to insist, because I didn’t want my children to see their father humiliating and insulting their mother every day.
When there was a trial, my spouse, referring to his more stable financial situation, said that the children should stay with him. In spite of this, the court decided that the children would live with me and ordered him to pay child support for the two children.
But it didn’t turn out that easy, because my nine-year-old daughter said she wanted to live with her father. As I did not try to convince her to abandon this idea, it was useless.
John set my daughter against me day after day and every day scandalized and threatened. My ex-husband was also determined to take our son, who at that time was not even a year old. I knew very well that he did not really need children, they would only hinder him from leading a riotous lifestyle, so I said:
– Take it and take it if you want it, but take it now! I’m tired of sharing my kids!
– And, what am I going to do with them? Where am I going to put them?
– Well, you said you wanted them to live with you, didn’t you? Now take them and take them!
– I didn’t think you’d just give them away! What kind of mother are you after that? What do I need them for? I have my own life and other plans!
– So you tell the kids you’re not going to take them! They think you love them and need them!
After my daughter found out that her father wasn’t going to take her away, she cried from resentment for a long time. She trusted him, didn’t she?
A week later her husband came by again under the pretense of visiting the children and said:
– You know very well that I did not want a divorce, but you were very stubborn. And now you’ll live in misery, you will suffer, and then you start to call back, because you have nowhere to go!
– You can’t even hope for that! And the court has obliged you to help your children until they come of age.
– I don’t owe anyone anything!
Then my spouse disappeared somewhere, and I got a job, because I needed something to live on.
Months went by and there was no news from my ex. His family also knew nothing about him. Then we filed a search warrant. We had to look for my spouse for almost a year, then they sent us a certificate of his whereabouts, but while the bailiffs were doing their work, he changed his address again. This went on for years. John flatly refused to pay child support. Once a year he did show up, but only to complain about life, but no more.
I could have called the police to lock him up as a persistent child support defaulter, but it was of no use. When the kids were a little older, we decided in our little family council that we wouldn’t touch him, since he had already punished himself.
It had been a long time since I had hoped for his help? I raised my children on my own and after we divorced my dad, they never heard any more abuse from me. My children grew up in love and respect.
Now John calls me once a year on Goodbye Sunday, just to ask for forgiveness!
